When tragedy strikes, it is human nature to feel alone in the pain. Mature adults are able to overcome these initial feelings of isolation, an important first step in being able to cope and heal. Children who have suffered the trauma of a loved one’s incarceration often need help to recognize that they are not alone, there are others who have this shared experience and who have gone on to have a successful future.
The Extended Family for Kids (EFK) Lesson You Are Not Alone helps children overcome feelings of isolation in two important ways. The first is to hear the story of someone else who has experienced a loved one’s incarceration. We sometimes have guest speakers share their stories, successful adults who grew up and made good choices which led to successful lives, despite having an incarcerated loved one. For times when a guest speaker is not available, we use handouts of stories we have collected from adults who have overcome the pain of family incarceration.
The second way to teach students that they are not alone is to have them consider the people in their lives who support them every day. This list isn’t always obvious to the children. We help them recognize the people around them by asking questions like, “Who do you live with?” “How do you get to school?” or “Who is your favorite teacher?” As the students answer these questions, we help them make the connection between identifying their resources and expressing gratitude for these people who care for them. We then ask the children to choose someone who has helped them and teach the students to write a thank you note to that person. Expressing gratitude to someone else is an excellent way to realize you are not alone.
We are constantly looking for people who are willing to share their stories. If you have experienced having a loved one incarcerated and would like to help children with the same challenges, we want to hear from you! For more information about Extended Family Programs, please visit www.extendedfamilyhelp.org.